New Year's Eve: WiiFit and Support Bandages

Well, 2012 is nearly at an end and are you looking forward to 2013?  Well, yes I am, I've made my New Year's Resolutions and boy aren't they tough?  You'll forgive me if I don't share them with you, but they're rather personal and this is the interweb after all.

As you can imagine, top of most people's lists is the desire to get fit and remain so.  We bought a WiiFit this year: ostensibly for my son but mainly as a family present - yes, I know the system's been around since 2008 and it's now 'old hat' compared to the shiny new WiiU but not being one who buckles to trends, I have held off buying a games console for many years now.  Most of you will be aware of the range of games and activities on the WiiFit system, so I won't bore you with them but suffice to say that it's very addictive and my current personal faves are rhythm boxing and step aerobics.  The only issue is that you can't wear trainers to use the system because it may damage the balance board, so I think I've slightly jarred my left foot as a result and am having to strap it up as demonstrated in the picture below:

Some people get aroused by bandages don't they?  I guess that they're the same folks who like their partners to wear latex gloves whilst touching them.  It's a free world I suppose.

Finally, let's talk sports bras - an essential part of any woman's work out gear, especially if the female in question is busty.  I bought this one in the M&S sale, so I didn't pay the full amount on the ticket.  It's very tight but I've no doubt that it'll pay dividends in ensuring that my bust doesn't graze me knees in the medium to long term!

Finally I would like to wish all of my readers a Happy New Year - hopefully I'll have enough material to write more entries in 2013.

Happy Christmas, Festive Tootsies & and an interview with the Duchess

"It's Chrissssttttmmmmasss!" as the venerable Sir Noddy Holder once sang and yes indeed, it is.  2012 is drawing to a close and our thoughts turn to eating turkey, pulling crackers and generally drinking before lunchtime.  What are you all up to?  Mine's a quiet one and is being spent with the Duke, the Earl and the dowager Duke and Duchess - i.e. my parents.

I thought I'd enclose a snap of my latest pedicure - my toenails are adorned with Boots Number 7 'vivid violet' shade and I think you'll agree, it's both festive and fun.  You'll also, no doubt be impressed by seeing the bottom of my pyjama trousers - oooohhhh!   Lovely.

The Duchess on Feet: a festive interview

Q: So, what is it with you and your feet?
A: I guess it's because they're not conventionally attractive - i.e. they're far larger than the majority of women's in the UK where I believe that the average size is about 5 or 6.  The Grimms' Fairy Tale Cinderella has a lot to answer for, especially the original version where both of the Ugly Sisters mutilate their feet to fit into the heroine's tiny glass slipper.  Does this mean that women who sport a larger foot are deemed unattractive?  Yeah, probably.

Q: Have you ever dated anyone with smaller feet than yourself?
A: Yes indeed, I once 'walked out' (how I love that term!) with a gentlemen who had size 7 feet (eek!) - I must admit, along with a short stature, small hands and feet on men are pretty much a turn off for me.  My husband, the Duke has a sturdy size 11 which is perfect.

Q: Have you ever received any negative comments about the size of your feet?
A: I have on a few occasions, yes.  I seem to recall taking part in a trampoline lesson at school where we had to just wear socks and some of the other girls took the mickey somewhat.  I was always gutted that I couldn't purchase fashionable shoes from shops such as Dolcis and instead had to buy Hush Puppies instead. 

Q: You're a huge fan of Birkenstocks - what attracted you to the teutonic comfort sandal?
A: I once owned a Next copy of the footbed style sandal and really liked those but read that Birkies are the real deal.  The first pair I bought from Amazon was a three strap Florida style in a beige colour called 'ice' and they were immediately comfortable.  I wore them to death for about three years but adored them.  The next purchase was a silver pair of single strap Madrid and then the toe post brown Mayari.  I recall reading reviews of the shoes on the web; clearly I am a complete sad case!

Q: Do you have any other comments?
A: I enjoy writing the blog and am always impressed when I receive hits from across the globe.  Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's just people looking at the pictures and ignoring the text, but hey ho!

Friday: new Adidas Samba and stocking woes!

It's starting to feel an awful lot like Christmas - well apparently that's true and if you take into consideration just how darn crowded the shops are then you'll probably agree.  Luckily I've completed the majority of my festive shopping, not that I had to do a great deal, I'm not a huge fan of buying presents for the sake of it, not because I'm mean, heaven forbid!  I'm just fed up with people trying to exchange things I've bought or just being plain ungrateful.

Regular readers will be more than aware of the problems I have with plimsoll style shoes such as Converse and Superga: mainly that the lining tends to wear out on the back of the heel which causes my socks to develop whacking great holes and leads to blisters.  Well, I have been thinking and believe that a trainer may be the answer to my prayers, as the heel lining is much thicker and as a result, more robust, so knowing my love of 'old skool' footwear I went to JD Sports and tried on some Adidas Samba suede trainers.  By happy coincidence the beige pair was on offer - £45 marked down from £57.  My husband, his Grace, The Duke likes wearing these so I thought I'd follow his lead and found them very smart indeed.  The sizing's a bit skimpy though: I tried on both the 9 and 10 and found the former a little too big and the latter far too big - perhaps I'm the Goldilocks of sports casual footwear?  Who knew?

Talking of Adidas Originals and indeed their originator, Adi Dassler, I was aware that he convened the brand and his brother invented Puma training shoes.  They both had very 'interesting' political views though.   Changing the subject swiftly from right wing politics straight back to footwear, I once owned a few pairs of Puma Mostros and loved them.  Unfortunately they were quite small fitting but they looked great.

Stocking woes: hmm - ladders, ripped stocking tops.  I'm not having a great time with them to be honest.  I am not a huge fan of 7 denier nylon - it's far too fragile for my liking.

Tuesday: season's greetings and sparkly tights

'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' drones Bruce Springsteen or 'The Boss' as he's popularly known.  I don't know if you agree, but I don't really like the majority of his music and find him rather over-rated.  Fair enough, I'm entitled to my opinion and you to yours.

Yes, Christmas creeps even closer and no, I haven't finished shopping for it yet.  Tomorrow means that I can nip into town and pick up some M&S vouchers for the teachers and after school club staff - when did life get so complicated?  Without sounding like a complete fogey, this school present malarkey didn't happen in my day - I don't get presents for doing my job, do I?  I wish I did, I adore nice things, but hey ho.

You raised the notion of sparkly tights?  Oh yes, here's the picture you've no doubt been waiting for, either by pressing F5 on your laptop or refreshing your iPad, iPhone, Galaxy Tab or whatever fan-dangled thing you use to access t'internet on (other systems are available on the worldwide market...)

Yes, they're sparkly and rather fetching, but tell us, oh mighty Duchess, are they comfortable?  Well, I can categorically state that they fell down all day and I had to retire to the ladies toilet to keep re-adjusting them.  I'm pretty sure that they were M&S tights too, which as you'll no doubt be aware of from reading my blog regularly, shouldn't really do that.

Don't you just adore them teamed with bronze Clarks Finnis asymmetric mary janes?  Well, yes, they're great thanks and did I recall you saying that you've got your eye on a black patent version of these shoes on eBay?  Well remembered, I have indeed but priced at £49.99 + £5.99 P&P they're a little expensive.  Of course, I am also loving the Clarks Mauritius biker style boots though, which are pictured below but they're £69.99 + £5.50 P&P, so again, rather steep.  Blah!  I absolutely bloody love footwear, something which you may have noticed from reading this blog.

Sunday: tights and turquoise socks

I am a blogger who checks her statistics regularly: well who wouldn't with such technological feats on offer?  What is increasingly coming clear that pictures of my long shapely legs clad in tights are proving popular in Google searches and why not indeed?  I do have to confess that I have a huge drawer of hosiery, some of which is very new, some older and much of the nylon mix is a bit bobbly and is in desperate need of a good sort out.  So Duchess, please tell us, do you wear stockings at all?  Well thanks for asking - I do own a few pairs of hold ups as they're very sexy indeed and I like the idea of a lacy stocking top but for that very reason would be a little worried about wearing them out of the house in case they fell down.  Although I do feel that a quick glimpse of such a thing would cause many men to have a coronary which would undoubtedly liven up a dull meeting if nothing else!

I am not particularly inhibited though: which is probably a combination of years of appearing in amateur dramatics productions where one is forced to change in a drafty hall and make quick adjustments in the wings whilst being elbowed out of the way by pushier cast mates.  Also my singing pastime ensures that I'm no shrinking violet.  Thinking of am dram and hold ups, I always found it amazing how quickly some women like shedding their clothes and appearing on stage clad in just their underwear.  Actually - if you're a single bloke and you don't mind spending your weekends mending flats and rigging lights, then join an am dram group - I promise you that you'll almost definitely get laid, or even to first base if that's your thing.

You're all very visual people aren't you and undoubtedly you adore a picture, so here's the image du jour - a pair of turquoise socks.  God, I do spoil you all sometimes, don't I? 

Thursday: leather, foot slaves and Amazon wish lists

I have just been looking at an American woman's site and she asks for slaves/foot worshippers and they pay her via Amazon gift vouchers or purchase stuff off of her wishlist http://spoilmyfeet.com/how-to-be-my-foot-slave/  Interesting, especially as she is also in possession of a large pair of feet.  If anybody wants to send me any vouchers the email's stuckinarutinwinter@yahoo.co.uk  I live in hope!  I've no doubt it'd be more lucrative than eBay, especially after they and PayPal have taken their cut.  Hmmm.  The sissy buyer of my socks hasn't yet paid me: I'm not a happy Duchess and, like The Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

Here's a bit of leather action for your enjoyment; I adore the cuff and also sometimes wear it on my ankle!

Wednesday: slippery when icy and hot pink items

I wish this freezing fog would go away - keeping one's footing on icy pavements isn't easy, hence it was out with the knee length tan Dr Martens diva boots once more.  I was thinking of ways how to stop the leather at the back of the heel rucking and wondered whether stuffing them with old clothes may stretch them out a bit?  Perhaps I'll give it a go.

I joined the 'flash' choir at work today and sung my little heart out for nearly an hour; I thought it may have included some nudity, but luckily it did not as our insurance doesn't cover such eventualities.  I do miss my singing - I'll re-join the ladies choir in January but it was nice to have a warble, despite not being able to quite reach the descant notes as I'm a soprano two which equates to a slightly lower range.  Actually my voice is feeling a little raw because although I drank the requisite amount of water beforehand I didn't undertake any vocal warm ups prior to engaging my vocal cords which is rather silly of me.

Hot pink: yes, I'm starting to love it.  Please find attached pic of my John Lewis leather gloves.  Mmmm - they're adorable, soft as butter and supple as a, well a gymnast covered in olive oil.  The mighty Frank Skinner once played a dodgy quiz show host in a few episodes of the Sky1 comedy Time Gentlemen Please called Cheeky Alan Supple and sported a splendid comb-over hairstyle.

I also own a fabulous pair of hot pink socks from M&S which you'll see I've charmingly teamed with leopardskin print pumps and leggings for a rather odd rockabilly look.  Apparently the 'fash pack' call it Leo - the print that is, it's not a reference to the lustrously haired and amazingly vocally talented singer, Mr Sayer. 

Monday: dentist, threading and musing

I often find myself meandering around the borough - well it's mostly because I don't drive and have to walk everywhere but when the sun's shining and it's a mighty 5 degrees Celsius outside who cares?  School run - check, walk to the next suburb to have a dental check up with inclusive clean, polish, x-ray and filling appointment - done.  I did notice that at least two of the glossy magazines featured the singer/philanthropist/dancer and now skincare guru, Lulu, which was obviously illuminating.  Somebody I was once on a stand-up comedy course with said that her mother had been Lulu's first manager, which was quite revealing to say the least.  Finally, onto eyebrow threading - pull, tug: done.

Here's a window display of shoes I saw whilst walking about - lovely aren't they?  You can tell that you're nearing middle age when such things appeal.  I am loving the combination of comfort, low heels and buckles - yummy! 

Right: that's me done for the day - after logging onto my work email at lunchtime and discovering that I'd not been successful at interview for a lateral transfer - yes, you're reading this right, it's not a promotion, it's merely a lateral move.  The feedback was pretty awful, rather damning and quite frankly fairly fucking useless so my services clearly aren't required.  In hindsight though I truly believe that I've had a lucky escape in the longer term.  It does make me wonder though, whether I've chosen to follow the correct career path but re-training as a crystal therapist or a hot stone healer doesn't really appeal, I'm just not that kind of person. 

Saturday: the joy of stats and of course, the V+ box

I often look at the stats pertaining to this blog and am heartened to see that it's read across the globe.  I am slightly surprised about some aspects though: does Blogger have a translation service because otherwise people not conversant in the Queen's English wouldn't be able to pick up on the subtleties of my humour, but perhaps you're all reading it just for a quick gawp at my pictures anyway?  I am always happy to receive positive feedback though, but negative stuff I just don't really need to hear because I get enough of that at work!  I do enjoy reading the search keywords people type into Google though - both 'foot fetish' and 'Birkenstocks' came up quite a bit.  Fair enough.

Right - shoes - I wore my Doctor Martens red knee length 'Elena' boots to the school fayre yesterday and they received quite a few complements and Father Christmas even wanted to borrow them!  You'd think that he'd be rich enough to buy his own, wouldn't you, but I'm guessing that even Lapland is feeling the heat of the global recession?  For all of those who can't remember what the boots look like on, here's a little reminder:

Cool aren't they?  They're a little wide though because I don't think my feet are broad by definition - although I did use the measuring thing in my copy of The Shoe Tailor catalogue - don't judge me! - and I came out as an E fitting although I'm very comfortable in a Clarks D fitting and in my humble opinion I don't think my feet are particularly ungainly.  Talking of such things, I tend to wear the 'normal' width in Birkenstocks as the narrow tends to be reserved for women (or indeed men!) with smaller, daintier and more delicate feet, which isn't me. 

The wonderful shopping channel, QVC - available via a cable channel near you, mine is provided by the mighty Virgin Media - produces a short series of Birkenstock shows in the spring and early summer which are always worth a watch or can even be recorded on your V+ or other PVR device if you so desire.  The format of the show features Nicki, an employee of Birkenstock for many years, showcases a series of styles, some of which have been uniquely manufactured for QVC and discusses them in great detail with one of the channel's resident presenters.  It's well worth a watch and especially for all of you foot fans out there because they only seem to stock women's styles and the models, as you'd expect, have rather lovely feet.  The conversation between Nicki and the other presenter is often banal in the extreme but you do pick up a great deal of important information about the brand and indeed the styles in question - such as the fact that the 'Gizeh' style's toe post is egg timer shaped instead of straight because it doesn't irritate the feet and the sole of a Birkie has bone shaped ridges for stablility.  I could go on for hours about one of my favourite subjects, but I won't.

Finally, here's a strange snippet from the Duchess's past - whilst on a bus travelling though the Old Street area in London the other day it reminded me of an incident which occurred back in September 2010.  A colleague of mine took me to see a pub/strip club for some inexplicable reason and I recall that I was wearing a Boden summer skirt and a pair of Birkenstock coffee coloured Mayari sandals.  I wouldn't recommend to any readers that it's either a particularly good place to go with a colleague and indeed that's not really the dress code, but hey ho. 

Friday: Lost (Again!) on the Streets of London

Another day, another dose of freezing rain - what fun!  At least I'm home typing in the warm but I must confess that my thighs got really cold on the school run today - I'd enclose a picture of them if I thought it pertinent to the blog, but it isn't so I won't.  Despite wearing gloves and slathering my hands with Neutrogena lotion (the choice of big hairy Norwegian fishermen apparently - yikes!) my poor pinkies are still chapped  and I attach a picture for your delectation and also so that you can admire my Boots Number 7 nail polish in the rather spiffing 'Damson' hue.  Here's hoping that I'm not recognised in the London area by the shots of my feet and hands I upload via this blog on a regular basis! Yes, I do have large hands and no, I cannot get most ladies gloves to fit with the exception of John Lewis' XL size.  I also cannot get bangles over my hands and no, I'm not a bloke and unfortunately despite having really long fingers I cannot play the piano very well.  Apparently women with large hands aren't popular with the majority of men because it makes their member look commensurately smaller if the aforementioned lady is holding it in her hand!

So, Duchess - how did you get on with your erotic writing workshop last night?  Oh, thanks for asking but I never got there.  Despite living in London for the majority of my life I always find that I get lost because I'm often journeying to strange places to experience odd courses.  Last night I couldn't locate Hoxton Square however hard I tried, but if you don't know the east end of London you'd probably be in the same boat.  I'm really strange like that - I always get really confused the first time I go somewhere and then after that I'm fine.  It's a shame and my poor feet got really sore as a result, plus my tights kept falling down:

They are Marks and Spencer 60 (or is that 40?) denier opaques but they tend to sag after a long walk and more worryingly, bunch up underneath the ball of my foot causing soreness.  It didn't help that the Doctor Martens knee-length diva boots I was wearing were rucking up on the right heel, rubbing and causing a blister.  Ok - let's really wallow in a myriad of self-pity now - poor old me - the fact that the #141 bus to I boarded back to London Bridge firstly meant that some big nosed idiot pushed me out of the way when I tried to take my favourite 'driving' seat at the front of the top deck, but to add insult to injury the flipping vehicle terminated early in Monument and I had to walk across the Thames (via the bridge: I'm not Jesus) with the bitter wind biting into my face.  When I finally got home I snapped a picture of my poor afflicted sole: granted it doesn't look particularly bad, but it's uncomfortable still.

God, I've really whinged today haven't I?  With this in mind I shall complete my scribblings, log off and attempt to do some ironing.  It's the school fayre this afternoon and therefore a pity that it's such poor weather.  We've got a horse and buggy there too - are you thinking as I am that they'll be no greenery left in the grounds once the horsies have munched it all?  And as for the manure aspect - well I don't think the attached poo bag element was ever sorted out!

Wednesday: Doctor Martens mary janes and Snow

Today I wore my black Next biker boots (which I plan to talk about at a later date) for the morning school run as there was a smattering of snow on the ground and no, I don't mean the 90s rap artiste who had a massive hit with the song Informer, I'm referring to the cold, flaky stuff which falls from the sky.  Brr!  It's cold, I am wearing three layers plus a chunky scarf as I type.

I wore the black fake Shoefayre uggs around the house and yes, they flipping well smell.  It's my considered opinion that my feet don't like synthetic fabrics and commence their own dirty protest by sweating in an unfortunate manner - like a pig if I'm honest.  Anyway, the afternoon's school run meant a change of footwear, be it shoes and socks, so I wore black sports socks and my Doctor Martens mary janes.  Why are shoes with a bar design called that?  Perhaps I should look it up on Wikipedia but it always reminds me of the heroine from Superman - maybe she had to wear a shoe with a strap to save against footwear loss whilst being hoisted high in the air by her superhero boyfriend?  The mind boggles!

Right, describe the shoes, go on, stop teasing us and get on with it!  Ok, that's me told.  Well here's a picture anyway:

As you can see they've a twin buckled strap which I find a complete pain in the rear to fasten and I'm not even arthritic (yet! - no, seriously I'm not that old)  They have a wonderful composite cleated sole with a 2.5 inch block heel which is perfect for walking/standing.  The traction's great, hence why I'm wearing them at the moment with all of the ice around.  They also rather conveniently share a heel and sole unit with my tan long Doctor Marten diva boots which I pictured on here a few weeks ago and plan to wear to work tomorrow.

Here's hoping that the trains are running - my particular service provider tends to screw up at the first hint of frost and snow.  Great - I've a busy day planned for tomorrow too. 

Monday: museum, noodles plus sole to sole

Myself and his Grace, The Duke, boarded a double decker bus and headed towards Greenwich today.  If you've never been it's an amazing place to visit and I can personally recommend the guided tours which I ventured upon last summer - prior to the Olympics taking the whole area over for months on end.  Now, the top deck of a London omnibus is a sacred place you'd imagine - delightfully clean, full of quiet people minding their own business and generally being a pleasure to be around?  Well, you'd be wrong, but I have a particular penchant for sitting in the front seat and 'driving' the bus, which is probably something I should have grown out of by now, but no, it's still a huge thrill.  The noise of other people's music is truly awful and I am going to download a CD of Mrs Mills' greatest hits onto my phone and play it out loud until the louts desist their detestable rap music.

Noodles: yum, my favourite - however I would provide some advice to the chap in the neighbouring table - don't slurp your food, simply twirl your noodles from a fork onto the spoon and consume accordingly.  Failing that, ask for a tiny bowl, lift it up and tuck in that way via the medium of chopsticks.  Also, do try to engage your female lunch companion in a form of conversation instead of constantly checking your smartphone every two minutes.  Surely this kind of behaviour is incredibly rude?  Saying that, I haven't read the latest edition of Debretts, perhaps this is now the acceptable face of modern manners? 

Shoes, yep, that's what you're reading to hear about - or perhaps you're ignoring the text in favour of the pictures, who knows?  Anyway I wore my while leather Converse today and noted that when I was walking up the hill in Greenwich Park I aquaplaned a little too much for my liking and noted that I need a cleated sole in the winter months.  When I got home I photographed the sole for posterity, which I agree is an incredibly boring thing to do and smacks of obsession in my book - whatever, don't judge me!  Here are the results:

The eagle-eyed amongst you will note that the grip is slowly but surely wearing away and is causing a smooth surface to emerge.  Converse grips aren't great anyway, it's probably because they're primarily a baseball shoe and as such, weren't meant to be worn as a casual shoe about town.  Personally, I don't care, I love them and currently own this pair as well as the following pairs: red lo, sparkly silver lo and pink hi.  I hate spelling the 'lo' and 'hi' like that, but that's the way that they're expressed - lo meaning the shoe type and hi, well the boot style.

This is a picture of the sole of my Superga turquoise blue casual plimsolls I am currently wearing; duly placing upon my feet to undertake the school run.  Yes, the nobbly nature of the surface provides much more pavement purchase in my view.  However, I must reiterate that the sizing is somewhat smaller than Converse - I think it's because they're manufactured in Italy and they never produce particularly large sizes anyway. 

Sunday: pedicure and planning

I thought you'd all appreciate a picture of my freshly pedicured feet.  Well, here they are anyway - looking a little blotchy and the polish is slightly skewy, but there you go, clearly I don't have a steady hand - or indeed 'A Slow Hand', or is that just The Pointer Sisters?  They're painted in a Boots No7 blue - I did have a fan ask me to paint them black, but I'm not a Goth and I think it would depress me at this time of year.  Saying that, he could have been a fan of The Rolling Stones?  Who knows?  No anyway.

I have listed a couple of pairs of cute slipper socks on eBay - well for UK buyers anyway.  They're rather splendid, but they don't fit - my sizeable feet make them 'ping' off, which isn't good.  Actually, talking of footwear, which I've no doubt you'd like me to do, I'm wearing my black Shoefayre fake synthetic uggs at the moment and they are making my poor plates of meat feel a little clammy.  Such is life!