Sunday: tights and turquoise socks

I am a blogger who checks her statistics regularly: well who wouldn't with such technological feats on offer?  What is increasingly coming clear that pictures of my long shapely legs clad in tights are proving popular in Google searches and why not indeed?  I do have to confess that I have a huge drawer of hosiery, some of which is very new, some older and much of the nylon mix is a bit bobbly and is in desperate need of a good sort out.  So Duchess, please tell us, do you wear stockings at all?  Well thanks for asking - I do own a few pairs of hold ups as they're very sexy indeed and I like the idea of a lacy stocking top but for that very reason would be a little worried about wearing them out of the house in case they fell down.  Although I do feel that a quick glimpse of such a thing would cause many men to have a coronary which would undoubtedly liven up a dull meeting if nothing else!

I am not particularly inhibited though: which is probably a combination of years of appearing in amateur dramatics productions where one is forced to change in a drafty hall and make quick adjustments in the wings whilst being elbowed out of the way by pushier cast mates.  Also my singing pastime ensures that I'm no shrinking violet.  Thinking of am dram and hold ups, I always found it amazing how quickly some women like shedding their clothes and appearing on stage clad in just their underwear.  Actually - if you're a single bloke and you don't mind spending your weekends mending flats and rigging lights, then join an am dram group - I promise you that you'll almost definitely get laid, or even to first base if that's your thing.

You're all very visual people aren't you and undoubtedly you adore a picture, so here's the image du jour - a pair of turquoise socks.  God, I do spoil you all sometimes, don't I? 

Thursday: leather, foot slaves and Amazon wish lists

I have just been looking at an American woman's site and she asks for slaves/foot worshippers and they pay her via Amazon gift vouchers or purchase stuff off of her wishlist http://spoilmyfeet.com/how-to-be-my-foot-slave/  Interesting, especially as she is also in possession of a large pair of feet.  If anybody wants to send me any vouchers the email's stuckinarutinwinter@yahoo.co.uk  I live in hope!  I've no doubt it'd be more lucrative than eBay, especially after they and PayPal have taken their cut.  Hmmm.  The sissy buyer of my socks hasn't yet paid me: I'm not a happy Duchess and, like The Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

Here's a bit of leather action for your enjoyment; I adore the cuff and also sometimes wear it on my ankle!

Wednesday: slippery when icy and hot pink items

I wish this freezing fog would go away - keeping one's footing on icy pavements isn't easy, hence it was out with the knee length tan Dr Martens diva boots once more.  I was thinking of ways how to stop the leather at the back of the heel rucking and wondered whether stuffing them with old clothes may stretch them out a bit?  Perhaps I'll give it a go.

I joined the 'flash' choir at work today and sung my little heart out for nearly an hour; I thought it may have included some nudity, but luckily it did not as our insurance doesn't cover such eventualities.  I do miss my singing - I'll re-join the ladies choir in January but it was nice to have a warble, despite not being able to quite reach the descant notes as I'm a soprano two which equates to a slightly lower range.  Actually my voice is feeling a little raw because although I drank the requisite amount of water beforehand I didn't undertake any vocal warm ups prior to engaging my vocal cords which is rather silly of me.

Hot pink: yes, I'm starting to love it.  Please find attached pic of my John Lewis leather gloves.  Mmmm - they're adorable, soft as butter and supple as a, well a gymnast covered in olive oil.  The mighty Frank Skinner once played a dodgy quiz show host in a few episodes of the Sky1 comedy Time Gentlemen Please called Cheeky Alan Supple and sported a splendid comb-over hairstyle.

I also own a fabulous pair of hot pink socks from M&S which you'll see I've charmingly teamed with leopardskin print pumps and leggings for a rather odd rockabilly look.  Apparently the 'fash pack' call it Leo - the print that is, it's not a reference to the lustrously haired and amazingly vocally talented singer, Mr Sayer. 

Monday: dentist, threading and musing

I often find myself meandering around the borough - well it's mostly because I don't drive and have to walk everywhere but when the sun's shining and it's a mighty 5 degrees Celsius outside who cares?  School run - check, walk to the next suburb to have a dental check up with inclusive clean, polish, x-ray and filling appointment - done.  I did notice that at least two of the glossy magazines featured the singer/philanthropist/dancer and now skincare guru, Lulu, which was obviously illuminating.  Somebody I was once on a stand-up comedy course with said that her mother had been Lulu's first manager, which was quite revealing to say the least.  Finally, onto eyebrow threading - pull, tug: done.

Here's a window display of shoes I saw whilst walking about - lovely aren't they?  You can tell that you're nearing middle age when such things appeal.  I am loving the combination of comfort, low heels and buckles - yummy! 

Right: that's me done for the day - after logging onto my work email at lunchtime and discovering that I'd not been successful at interview for a lateral transfer - yes, you're reading this right, it's not a promotion, it's merely a lateral move.  The feedback was pretty awful, rather damning and quite frankly fairly fucking useless so my services clearly aren't required.  In hindsight though I truly believe that I've had a lucky escape in the longer term.  It does make me wonder though, whether I've chosen to follow the correct career path but re-training as a crystal therapist or a hot stone healer doesn't really appeal, I'm just not that kind of person. 

Saturday: the joy of stats and of course, the V+ box

I often look at the stats pertaining to this blog and am heartened to see that it's read across the globe.  I am slightly surprised about some aspects though: does Blogger have a translation service because otherwise people not conversant in the Queen's English wouldn't be able to pick up on the subtleties of my humour, but perhaps you're all reading it just for a quick gawp at my pictures anyway?  I am always happy to receive positive feedback though, but negative stuff I just don't really need to hear because I get enough of that at work!  I do enjoy reading the search keywords people type into Google though - both 'foot fetish' and 'Birkenstocks' came up quite a bit.  Fair enough.

Right - shoes - I wore my Doctor Martens red knee length 'Elena' boots to the school fayre yesterday and they received quite a few complements and Father Christmas even wanted to borrow them!  You'd think that he'd be rich enough to buy his own, wouldn't you, but I'm guessing that even Lapland is feeling the heat of the global recession?  For all of those who can't remember what the boots look like on, here's a little reminder:

Cool aren't they?  They're a little wide though because I don't think my feet are broad by definition - although I did use the measuring thing in my copy of The Shoe Tailor catalogue - don't judge me! - and I came out as an E fitting although I'm very comfortable in a Clarks D fitting and in my humble opinion I don't think my feet are particularly ungainly.  Talking of such things, I tend to wear the 'normal' width in Birkenstocks as the narrow tends to be reserved for women (or indeed men!) with smaller, daintier and more delicate feet, which isn't me. 

The wonderful shopping channel, QVC - available via a cable channel near you, mine is provided by the mighty Virgin Media - produces a short series of Birkenstock shows in the spring and early summer which are always worth a watch or can even be recorded on your V+ or other PVR device if you so desire.  The format of the show features Nicki, an employee of Birkenstock for many years, showcases a series of styles, some of which have been uniquely manufactured for QVC and discusses them in great detail with one of the channel's resident presenters.  It's well worth a watch and especially for all of you foot fans out there because they only seem to stock women's styles and the models, as you'd expect, have rather lovely feet.  The conversation between Nicki and the other presenter is often banal in the extreme but you do pick up a great deal of important information about the brand and indeed the styles in question - such as the fact that the 'Gizeh' style's toe post is egg timer shaped instead of straight because it doesn't irritate the feet and the sole of a Birkie has bone shaped ridges for stablility.  I could go on for hours about one of my favourite subjects, but I won't.

Finally, here's a strange snippet from the Duchess's past - whilst on a bus travelling though the Old Street area in London the other day it reminded me of an incident which occurred back in September 2010.  A colleague of mine took me to see a pub/strip club for some inexplicable reason and I recall that I was wearing a Boden summer skirt and a pair of Birkenstock coffee coloured Mayari sandals.  I wouldn't recommend to any readers that it's either a particularly good place to go with a colleague and indeed that's not really the dress code, but hey ho. 

Friday: Lost (Again!) on the Streets of London

Another day, another dose of freezing rain - what fun!  At least I'm home typing in the warm but I must confess that my thighs got really cold on the school run today - I'd enclose a picture of them if I thought it pertinent to the blog, but it isn't so I won't.  Despite wearing gloves and slathering my hands with Neutrogena lotion (the choice of big hairy Norwegian fishermen apparently - yikes!) my poor pinkies are still chapped  and I attach a picture for your delectation and also so that you can admire my Boots Number 7 nail polish in the rather spiffing 'Damson' hue.  Here's hoping that I'm not recognised in the London area by the shots of my feet and hands I upload via this blog on a regular basis! Yes, I do have large hands and no, I cannot get most ladies gloves to fit with the exception of John Lewis' XL size.  I also cannot get bangles over my hands and no, I'm not a bloke and unfortunately despite having really long fingers I cannot play the piano very well.  Apparently women with large hands aren't popular with the majority of men because it makes their member look commensurately smaller if the aforementioned lady is holding it in her hand!

So, Duchess - how did you get on with your erotic writing workshop last night?  Oh, thanks for asking but I never got there.  Despite living in London for the majority of my life I always find that I get lost because I'm often journeying to strange places to experience odd courses.  Last night I couldn't locate Hoxton Square however hard I tried, but if you don't know the east end of London you'd probably be in the same boat.  I'm really strange like that - I always get really confused the first time I go somewhere and then after that I'm fine.  It's a shame and my poor feet got really sore as a result, plus my tights kept falling down:

They are Marks and Spencer 60 (or is that 40?) denier opaques but they tend to sag after a long walk and more worryingly, bunch up underneath the ball of my foot causing soreness.  It didn't help that the Doctor Martens knee-length diva boots I was wearing were rucking up on the right heel, rubbing and causing a blister.  Ok - let's really wallow in a myriad of self-pity now - poor old me - the fact that the #141 bus to I boarded back to London Bridge firstly meant that some big nosed idiot pushed me out of the way when I tried to take my favourite 'driving' seat at the front of the top deck, but to add insult to injury the flipping vehicle terminated early in Monument and I had to walk across the Thames (via the bridge: I'm not Jesus) with the bitter wind biting into my face.  When I finally got home I snapped a picture of my poor afflicted sole: granted it doesn't look particularly bad, but it's uncomfortable still.

God, I've really whinged today haven't I?  With this in mind I shall complete my scribblings, log off and attempt to do some ironing.  It's the school fayre this afternoon and therefore a pity that it's such poor weather.  We've got a horse and buggy there too - are you thinking as I am that they'll be no greenery left in the grounds once the horsies have munched it all?  And as for the manure aspect - well I don't think the attached poo bag element was ever sorted out!

Wednesday: Doctor Martens mary janes and Snow

Today I wore my black Next biker boots (which I plan to talk about at a later date) for the morning school run as there was a smattering of snow on the ground and no, I don't mean the 90s rap artiste who had a massive hit with the song Informer, I'm referring to the cold, flaky stuff which falls from the sky.  Brr!  It's cold, I am wearing three layers plus a chunky scarf as I type.

I wore the black fake Shoefayre uggs around the house and yes, they flipping well smell.  It's my considered opinion that my feet don't like synthetic fabrics and commence their own dirty protest by sweating in an unfortunate manner - like a pig if I'm honest.  Anyway, the afternoon's school run meant a change of footwear, be it shoes and socks, so I wore black sports socks and my Doctor Martens mary janes.  Why are shoes with a bar design called that?  Perhaps I should look it up on Wikipedia but it always reminds me of the heroine from Superman - maybe she had to wear a shoe with a strap to save against footwear loss whilst being hoisted high in the air by her superhero boyfriend?  The mind boggles!

Right, describe the shoes, go on, stop teasing us and get on with it!  Ok, that's me told.  Well here's a picture anyway:

As you can see they've a twin buckled strap which I find a complete pain in the rear to fasten and I'm not even arthritic (yet! - no, seriously I'm not that old)  They have a wonderful composite cleated sole with a 2.5 inch block heel which is perfect for walking/standing.  The traction's great, hence why I'm wearing them at the moment with all of the ice around.  They also rather conveniently share a heel and sole unit with my tan long Doctor Marten diva boots which I pictured on here a few weeks ago and plan to wear to work tomorrow.

Here's hoping that the trains are running - my particular service provider tends to screw up at the first hint of frost and snow.  Great - I've a busy day planned for tomorrow too.