Ninety Posts - Not Out

I bet you're all out there in cyberspace wondering what on earth has happened to the Duchess's foot blog, aren't you?  Then wonder no more, I'm back, but it's only a temporary return as I have seriously used up most of my foot and shoe chat for the time being.  I have recently been away on holiday and as a result, my feet are nice and tanned; to be precise they are sporting a Birkenstock Gizeh-shaped tan, as pictured in the first shot, although to be honest, it's barely discernible as a result of the flash:

I did quite a lot of mudwalking whilst way and for those who aren't au fait with such things, it's when one walks along the mud when the tide's out and I attach a picture below of the 'after' effects.  The minerals in sea mud are wonderful and sinking one's feet into the squidgy mud is rather splendid and squelchy.  Mmm.  Actually, it barely looks like my feet at all and to be honest, you'd see better plates of meat gracing The Chamber of Horrors in my opinion, but I thought you'd appreciate the shot anyway, which was taken about a month ago now, hence the different shade of nail polish I'm sporting. I have absolutely no idea why they're so swollen looking?  My feet are usually much more streamlined than that.

Finally, I suppose you've never seen my Next sequinned flip flops have you?  Well, here's a pic for all of you fans of 'thongs' of the foot kind (not the knicker kind as I really hate those, there's nothing more uncomfortable in my opinion and I'd much rather wear the kind of brief which is commonly known as the 'apple catcher').  They're a size 8 and therefore a little small, but I've had them for years now and rather like them; actually I'm wearing them now as I type.

Friday: A mosey around M&S

Yes, it's Friday and boo it's bloody raining again, but luckily I'd returned from the shops before the first raindrops hit the pavement.  My stomach is really annoying me at the moment as it's massive and no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just very lardy at this present time.  Yeah, I'm going back on a diet but it's not nice as some of my jeans are cut a bit too low and I have a hangover of amorphous glutenous fat hanging around my midriff.  Anyway, I ventured into M&S this morning to spend the £5 voucher I was granted the other day which expires tomorrow.  Walking around I could not see much that I really wanted - the £9.50 cotton shorts were too skimpy - i.e. they would reach a few inches down my leg, thus exposing my un-toned upper thigh; as I already own a pair of Levi's shorts which are a similar length I could not expose the public to such sights, so I passed them by.  As for anything else, well I just couldn't be bothered to buy any more middle of the road middle aged clothing, so I plumped for these instead:

They are of course to wear under my new hot pink Clarks ballerina shoes.  I do love them so!  That is of course, that I adore my shoes, not footsies, I think you'd have to be a sadder person than me to get excited about the prospect of wearing foot hosiery. 

Friday: Foot note + The Summer Solstice

Happy Summer Solstice!  It's officially the longest day of the dear and I'm not getting naked with the druids in Stonehenge, but am still trying to recover from this cold/chest infection at home, thus I am living a strange life full of TV, toast and comedians' biographies.  OK, you may say, and how's that going?  Well, it's all very well but I really want to get back into the swing of things before too long as there's a Duchess-style dent starting to appear on my sofa at the moment.  Hopefully my DVDs will turn up at some point, but failing that, I'm enjoying the BBC comedy series Extras, especially since it's been available via Lovefilm instant (although not last night when it singularly failed to load.)

Here's a picture of my toes, duly painted with Boots No7 chili red.  Do you like them?  I do - it's just a shame that they haven't seen much sandal action this year, well what with the weather being as bad as it has been.  Bah!

Friday: ooh, new Clarks shoes, ooohhh

Yes, I have new shoes and indeed, they're great.  I purchased them in the Clarks sale and the style is called Carousel Ride and the colour's fuchsia.  To wear they're great - lovely and roomy (unlike their Next patent counterparts!) and they contain the brand's patented softwear, which equates to some nice padding in the inner sole.

Mmm, I think I'm in love with them already ;)  Just in case you cannot see from the pictures, the fabric's a microfibre or suede mix.  I don't think that they're leather anyway.

Finally, here's the box and I am so grateful that Clarks offer a size 9 to their customers and glory be, it's a 'proper' size too, not one of those namby pamby skimpy size 9/42, of which I've written loads about in the past.

Now, here's the rub, how on earth am I going to store all of these blasted shoes?  Eeek.

Sunday: Time for a break? Maybe, or maybe not.

I have decided to take a break from writing this blog for a while as I'm running out of steam!  I do have a callus at the moment if you're interested and quite frankly, if you're excited by that, then God help you!  Do check out my other blogs though as I'll still be penning those.

Of course, when and where I purchase new shoes or find some old ones I haven't worn in a while I'll try and write something; otherwise not.  Toodle pip for now.

*Update* after less than twenty four hours I've purchased two new pairs of shoes in the Clarks sale, so suffice to say that I won't be hanging up my blogging credentials for a while.  Tsk, I'm so flaky....

Friday: 7 denier appearance illusion tights

Yesterday I attended an event which I needed to dress up for, hat and all. Of course, I'd love to share the details with you, my internet public, but I cannot, more's the pity.  Anyway, as I understand it, your interest really centres around tights and feet doesn't it?  OK, well you're well-served anyway.  I wore a pair of M&S 7 denier appearance illusion tights as they went with my Boden Amalfi dress so much better than clunky opaques, but unlike their thicker friends, they weren't particularly comfortable, despite being a size XL.  They reminded me of the thinner tan and barely black nylons I used to wear when I started work, many many years ago - i.e. they were never long enough and the top seams used to chafe my inner thighs accordingly.  Perhaps you think that that would be arousing?  Well, no it's not particularly.

So, here they are - fresh out of the packet and raring to go.  At about 1pm I was enjoying a pre-drink with my husband, The Duke, and retired to the ladies - I pulled up the aforementioned hosiery and lo and behold, a huge ladder appeared! Argggghhh!  Luckily, being skin coloured it wasn't too obvious.

It rained yesterday, more's the pity and I did worry that the back of my legs would get mud splatters from walking on grass - they didn't though.  Talking of such things, quite a few of the ladies wore spiked or stiletto heels, which sunk into the sodden earth.  Some of them sported high wedges which, when allied with a substantial platform, always look like the wearer has hooves or suchlike.  Call me boring (you, never!) but I chose to wear my red patent Clarks mary jane wedges, as they're both comfortable and functional.  I realised that I'd be on my feet for the majority of the afternoon and shod myself accordingly.  I swear that I'm sounding more and more like my mother as the years roll on.

One of my colleagues didn't know what patent leather was?  Really?  Apparently not, but as I've previously discussed, I love the stuff.  Yum, shiny shiny!

Friday - La Douleur Exquise

Sometimes, as in the song I'm wicked and I'm lazy (is no-one going to save me?) - ergo, I didn't rise until 9:45, ate a breakfast cooked by The Duke (that's my husband I'm referring to, not John Wayne!) then watched four Sex and The City (SATC) episodes back to back, showered and here I am, typing away.  One of the SATC shows was entitled La Douleur Exquise which concerned the girls attending the opening of an S&M restaurant and doing other kinky stuff, well in my opinion most of it was pretty vanilla, but Charlotte's encounter with Buster, the proprietor of an upscale shoe shop was the most interesting, especially as she was gifted free shoes in exchange for letting him fondle her feet!  Personally I wouldn't have an issue with that, but as the majority of shoe shops don't stock my size I very much doubt I'd be allowed such an indulgence.

Oh, my feet - yes, you like pictures don't you?  Right - herewith two shots of them for your delectation.  As you can see the minty green polish looks very summery indeed but the huge problem is that there's very little warmth to be enjoyed out there, hence they've been shoved into shoes and the toenail polish has suffered as a result.

You'll see a few marks on this picture taken today - the Birki mules have rubbed my left foot rather badly and you wouldn't really wish to see the soles as they're all sore and bumpy.  I was reading in this week's Stylist Magazine (a London free sheet aimed at commuters) that the famous podiatrist Margaret Dabbs doesn't allow feet to be soaked prior to a pedicure as it masks any issues which may lie dormant, ditto she says that using pumice stones are a bad idea as dry foot files are much more effective.  Couple that to a story about nasty fungi being found on the sole of the foot and between the toes and you've got yourself a mini health hazard.