Friday: Next patent bow ballerina woes

Now, everybody who reads this blog undoubtedly knows that I own far too many pairs of shoes and it's now getting very difficult to keep the house tidy because of this.  A former colleague once told me a story about a friend of his who had converted all of the stairs into shoe storage by fitting drawers on the front, but if you, like me, think that that sounds really dangerous, you'd probably be right.  This was also the bloke who talked about a friend of his who was visiting Switzerland on business when a guy offered to buy the tights she was wearing at the time.  Very strange indeed - that's never happened to me on the tube.

I purchased these lovely Next maroon patent ballerinas from one of their online sales and I adore them; the problem is that they're far too small, which is such a shame.  I have tried stretching them in the past via the medium of one of those wooden things which are available from all good stockists, including Betterware, but to no avail.  Therefore they've been languishing in my locker at work for ages, but I've not been able to wear them for long because the freaky second toe on my left foot keeps hitting the end causing no end of discomfort, so yesterday I brought them home to hopefully sell them on eBay at some point.

Why do you like them so much then?  Well, as regular readers are more than aware, I love the look, feel and general lustre of patent leather.  I think this dates back to childhood when I used to covet other girls' shoes which were always nicer than mine.  I'm not sure whether this is an urban myth, or I've written about this before, but I seem to recall hearing about some schools banning patent leather shoes because apparently 'your underwear can be reflected in the shine' - really?

When I did wear these shoes I used to team them with skinny jeans and a blazer because I really like that look.  Kate Moss often sports it, but please let me tell you, here and now, that's where the similarities end between me and Miss Moss/Mrs Hince (whatever she's called....) because I'm a whole lot lardier than the aforementioned supermodel, haven't bathed in champagne with Johnny Depp and I certainly haven't had Bryan Ferry play at my wedding.  Sorry to disappoint.

As you can see from the picture, they're 'sole revivers' which means that they've got squashy bits in the sole to aid comfort whilst wearing.  I do like this kind of thing and notice that Clarks use a similar technology which they've dubbed 'Softwear'.  However, in the long run I guess it gets too squashed and becomes a little redundant - a bit like the latex layer of a Birkenstock which moulds to the exact shape of your foot.  Ooh, the mention of latex has got me all hot and bothered under the collar (spiked!), although I don't like the thought of having to oil myself up to be able to wear it.  Give me a bit of leather and lace any day....