Dunlop Wellies

 So ... it's the time of mellow fruitfulness, or whatever the Mr Kipling advert used to say. And yes, before you all write in to expose my stupidity, I am aware that it's an extract from a poem, but my A-Level English Literature put me off of that kind of thing for years. Perhaps I should persevere with Frank Skinner's Poetry Podcast? 

Anyway, as ever I digress. Last week I purchased some green Dunlop Wellington boots from Amazon so that I can stomp through the local woods and do the gardening in. I know that Hunter wellies are the fashionista choice, but they're way too expensive and even if they offer a size 9 the calf width would be far too narrow.

Doc Martens Balfour Sandals

Regular readers will be aware that I tend to buy shoes in fits and starts, hence my double DM purchase during the last sale. As it's summer I intend to write about the velcro sandals 👡.

I'm usually incredibly faithful to my Birkenstocks, but fancied a change. I like fugly footwear with thick soles, so the Balfour sandals seemed perfect. I am wearing them as I type and best of all, they're cleanable with Cif.

They are quite long and wide, but the adjustability makes them a snug fit.

COVID-19/Coronavirus and Social Isolation

Yep, the world's gone pandemic mad.  This means even more time will be spent wearing my indoor clothes and by that I mean my comfies - Primark seems a place that I tend to frequent to purchase such garments.  Please take a look at my slippers, they were marked down to an impressive £2 in the sale and are a man's style in a size M, which is a UK8-9 and they fit perfectly.  They contain memory foam, which is slowly sinking, but they are still fairly supportive, although I have trouble walking up our stairs in them.  Quite frankly, the stairs in our suburban semi are far too steep and shallow - my mum hates them and according to a previous owner, an old woman once dropped dead on the bend of them them(!)



Anyway, yeah, feet and all that - here's a couple of lovely pictures for you all to enjoy.  I am not altogether sure why Blogger, in its infinite wisdom has decided to stick both pictures together as it looks like my feet have been chopped off on the second shot, but hey - who cares?

Adidas Falcon Gold Women's Kicks

I truly believe that I must have been a magpie in a previous life - if not, how on earth can I explain why I like to purchase shiny metallic accessories and shoes?  About a year ago I was nosing through the ASOS app on my phone (an app I regularly have to remove as it's far too tempting ...) and noted some gold Adidas Falcon trainers in an appealing gold and mauve colourway.  At full price - some £85 - they were too expensive, so I took a screenshot and left it there.  Fast forward and there they were in the sale, so I nabbed the last pair online (whilst on a bus London Transport fans ...)

Here's the box:

Herewith the shoes - the colourway slightly reminds me of She-Ra, Princess of Power.  Maybe I'm just a bit of an eighties geekess?  The rug is Ikea by the way - it's still very bouncy underfoot.  

Early Autumn Heatwave Tanned Feet & Morton's Toe

It's the early autumn in the UK, but we're currently experiencing some unseasonably hot weather, hence the Birkies and the flip flops are still in regular use and I pedicured my toenails and painted them with the Barry M Under The Sea range (as pictured!)

I'm still pissed off about my 'so-called' friend's comments about my Morton's Toe (for an explanation, see below, courtesy of Wikipedia)

Morton's toe

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This article is about the shape of the foot bones. For the condition involving the soft tissue between the bones, see Morton's metatarsalgia.

Morton's toe
Other names	Morton's foot, Greek foot, royal toe, Turkey toe, LaMay toe, Sheppard's toe, Coup d’etoe, Viking toe, Morton's syndrome,[1] long toe, boss toe
Dorsal surface of a right foot with Morton's toe (left image) and without (right image). The dashed line highlights joint position.
Specialty	Orthopedic

Morton's toe is the condition of a shorter first metatarsal in relation to the second metatarsal. It is a type of brachymetatarsia.^[1]

The metatarsal bones behind the toes vary in relative length. For most feet, a smooth curve can be traced through the joints at the bases of the toes. But in Morton's foot, the line has to bend more sharply to go through the base of the big toe, as shown in the diagram. This is because the first metatarsal, behind the big toe, is short compared to the second metatarsal, next to it. The longer second metatarsal puts the joint at the base of the second toe (the second metatarsal-phalangeal, or MTP, joint) further forward.

If the big toe and the second toe are the same length (as measured from the MPT joint to the tip, including only the phalanges), then the second toe will protrude farther than the big toe, as shown in the photo. If the second toe is shorter than the big toe, the big toe may still protrude the furthest, or there may be little difference, as shown in the X-ray.

So, the length of my big toe is a problem, is it?

I recently spent the day with a platonic friend who's a bloke. We used to work together a few years ago and yes, I was a whole grade his senior, mainly because I worked hard to obtain a degree and basically I am have a superior intelligent (bitchy, moi?) Plus I am much more modest.

Compared to most blokes I know he's quite metrosexual. When I think back, he used to be so cute in that kind of slender pale skinned blue eyed Irish way that I'm so fond of. However, a combination of drinking too much and living a man about town lifestyle has prematurely aged him. He adores taking selfies and posting them to social media, even though I personally believe them to be unflattering.

He seemed to be in a bit of a mood in Wetherspoons because when I mentioned that my feet proudly feature on Fetlife under my LondonDuchess profile he started saying that the length of my second toes rendered my feet ugly to him. I suppose that I have the same size feet as him, but honestly - what a thing to say!

I did retaliate by saying that the pink muscle fit Topman t-shirt he was wearing should only be donned by men with a defined physique, toned pectorals and a six pack. See how you like them apples!

After extensive Googling(!) The condition is called Morton's Toe, it is fairly common and was revered in classical cultures. It's supposed to be a sign of high intelligence and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex also shares the condition.

Post August Bank Holiday

My feet are enjoying the sun, they usually do. Please note that I have an Instagram account called (wait for it ...) nomeanfeetfortheduchess. Enjoy.