Google Guide Socks

 I guess since I maintain a Google blog then you'd think that my skillset stretched to other related activities and you'd be correct.  I am a Google Guide, not that it means a great deal, but I enjoy it.  Quite a few months ago, as an incentive, the powers that be sent all of their guides a free pair of socks, as pictured below.  They're really quite natty and seem to be illustrated with all of the usual Google Maps signage.  

Dunlop Wellies

 So ... it's the time of mellow fruitfulness, or whatever the Mr Kipling advert used to say. And yes, before you all write in to expose my stupidity, I am aware that it's an extract from a poem, but my A-Level English Literature put me off of that kind of thing for years. Perhaps I should persevere with Frank Skinner's Poetry Podcast? 

Anyway, as ever I digress. Last week I purchased some green Dunlop Wellington boots from Amazon so that I can stomp through the local woods and do the gardening in. I know that Hunter wellies are the fashionista choice, but they're way too expensive and even if they offer a size 9 the calf width would be far too narrow.

Doc Martens Balfour Sandals

Regular readers will be aware that I tend to buy shoes in fits and starts, hence my double DM purchase during the last sale. As it's summer I intend to write about the velcro sandals 👡.

I'm usually incredibly faithful to my Birkenstocks, but fancied a change. I like fugly footwear with thick soles, so the Balfour sandals seemed perfect. I am wearing them as I type and best of all, they're cleanable with Cif.

They are quite long and wide, but the adjustability makes them a snug fit.

COVID-19/Coronavirus and Social Isolation

Yep, the world's gone pandemic mad.  This means even more time will be spent wearing my indoor clothes and by that I mean my comfies - Primark seems a place that I tend to frequent to purchase such garments.  Please take a look at my slippers, they were marked down to an impressive £2 in the sale and are a man's style in a size M, which is a UK8-9 and they fit perfectly.  They contain memory foam, which is slowly sinking, but they are still fairly supportive, although I have trouble walking up our stairs in them.  Quite frankly, the stairs in our suburban semi are far too steep and shallow - my mum hates them and according to a previous owner, an old woman once dropped dead on the bend of them them(!)



Anyway, yeah, feet and all that - here's a couple of lovely pictures for you all to enjoy.  I am not altogether sure why Blogger, in its infinite wisdom has decided to stick both pictures together as it looks like my feet have been chopped off on the second shot, but hey - who cares?

Adidas Falcon Gold Women's Kicks

I truly believe that I must have been a magpie in a previous life - if not, how on earth can I explain why I like to purchase shiny metallic accessories and shoes?  About a year ago I was nosing through the ASOS app on my phone (an app I regularly have to remove as it's far too tempting ...) and noted some gold Adidas Falcon trainers in an appealing gold and mauve colourway.  At full price - some £85 - they were too expensive, so I took a screenshot and left it there.  Fast forward and there they were in the sale, so I nabbed the last pair online (whilst on a bus London Transport fans ...)

Here's the box:

Herewith the shoes - the colourway slightly reminds me of She-Ra, Princess of Power.  Maybe I'm just a bit of an eighties geekess?  The rug is Ikea by the way - it's still very bouncy underfoot.  

Early Autumn Heatwave Tanned Feet & Morton's Toe

It's the early autumn in the UK, but we're currently experiencing some unseasonably hot weather, hence the Birkies and the flip flops are still in regular use and I pedicured my toenails and painted them with the Barry M Under The Sea range (as pictured!)

I'm still pissed off about my 'so-called' friend's comments about my Morton's Toe (for an explanation, see below, courtesy of Wikipedia)

Morton's toe

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to navigationJump to search

This article is about the shape of the foot bones. For the condition involving the soft tissue between the bones, see Morton's metatarsalgia.

Morton's toe
Other names	Morton's foot, Greek foot, royal toe, Turkey toe, LaMay toe, Sheppard's toe, Coup d’etoe, Viking toe, Morton's syndrome,[1] long toe, boss toe
Dorsal surface of a right foot with Morton's toe (left image) and without (right image). The dashed line highlights joint position.
Specialty	Orthopedic

Morton's toe is the condition of a shorter first metatarsal in relation to the second metatarsal. It is a type of brachymetatarsia.^[1]

The metatarsal bones behind the toes vary in relative length. For most feet, a smooth curve can be traced through the joints at the bases of the toes. But in Morton's foot, the line has to bend more sharply to go through the base of the big toe, as shown in the diagram. This is because the first metatarsal, behind the big toe, is short compared to the second metatarsal, next to it. The longer second metatarsal puts the joint at the base of the second toe (the second metatarsal-phalangeal, or MTP, joint) further forward.

If the big toe and the second toe are the same length (as measured from the MPT joint to the tip, including only the phalanges), then the second toe will protrude farther than the big toe, as shown in the photo. If the second toe is shorter than the big toe, the big toe may still protrude the furthest, or there may be little difference, as shown in the X-ray.

So, the length of my big toe is a problem, is it?

I recently spent the day with a platonic friend who's a bloke. We used to work together a few years ago and yes, I was a whole grade his senior, mainly because I worked hard to obtain a degree and basically I am have a superior intelligent (bitchy, moi?) Plus I am much more modest.

Compared to most blokes I know he's quite metrosexual. When I think back, he used to be so cute in that kind of slender pale skinned blue eyed Irish way that I'm so fond of. However, a combination of drinking too much and living a man about town lifestyle has prematurely aged him. He adores taking selfies and posting them to social media, even though I personally believe them to be unflattering.

He seemed to be in a bit of a mood in Wetherspoons because when I mentioned that my feet proudly feature on Fetlife under my LondonDuchess profile he started saying that the length of my second toes rendered my feet ugly to him. I suppose that I have the same size feet as him, but honestly - what a thing to say!

I did retaliate by saying that the pink muscle fit Topman t-shirt he was wearing should only be donned by men with a defined physique, toned pectorals and a six pack. See how you like them apples!

After extensive Googling(!) The condition is called Morton's Toe, it is fairly common and was revered in classical cultures. It's supposed to be a sign of high intelligence and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex also shares the condition.

Post August Bank Holiday

My feet are enjoying the sun, they usually do. Please note that I have an Instagram account called (wait for it ...) nomeanfeetfortheduchess. Enjoy.

Toe and Paw

My rescue cat, Sophie, tends to sleep on the back of my sofa, hence she often lets her paws hang over the cushion.  Last week I photographed my toes next to her because I thought that they looked cute.  Do you agree?

Fuggs - AKA Fake Uggs or Faux Sheepskin Style Boot Slippers

If you're like me and appreciate having warm feet during the winter, then I'm darn sure that you'll be sporting a pair of fake Ugg-style boots on your trotters.  I bought two pairs in a size UK 9-10 from one of the leading exponents of online fashion retailing - namely Asos, or 'As Seen On Screen' as it once called. 

As you can see, this is a snap of the older pair and it's pretty knackered and is sporting a huge hole in the toe.  They make me shuffle around the house like a gnome because they've stretched and contain absolutely no support for my feet.  Therein plantar fasciitis lurks and as my husband and mother have suffered from it and said that it feels like tiny razor blades are being inserted into the soles of your feet, it's a condition that I'll try to avoid. 

I want rid - I'll probably stick them on eBay later on in the week when I have a few minutes to spare.  I use a different account from the one I usually buy on because of all of the issues surrounding 'adult' items.  Years ago, on a previous login I had my account suspended quite a few times for listing 'inappropriate' things (shoes/socks/tights), although eBay seem to allow ladies and certain gents to sell their used undies on there ...

My jeans are Asos too and are 'slim mom jeans' - I'm a mom/mum, but I'm not slim, but I was fed up with wearing skinny jeans all of the time as I'm sure that they give people a hot crotch, which is surely a breeding ground for bad bacteria?

Don't Accidentally Boot The Sofa

Just don't, I know that I've got dyspraxia, but this is what happens. My left foot is terribly swollen.

Doc Martens Rometty

I bought these pair of platforms in the sale, the brown leather version was half price at £70. They arrived today and I'm in two minds concerning whether to return them?  They feel comfortable, but boy they're heavy as hell (if indeed the underworld/Hades has been assigned a weight?  Maybe the combined weight of mankind's sinful souls?)

Stomp, stomp stomp - a domestic Romper Stomper if you like?

This is the website listing:

There are no reviews pertaining to either choice of colourway.  Pity.

*Update*

I returned them for a full refund.

Doc Socks

Yes, it's Black Friday, a phenomenon which never really existed here in the UK until a few years ago. Have I purchased anything? No, not really. I mean I ordered some Uniqlo Ezy jeans in their sale, but even the XL was too small, so I sent them back. That said, I chose to re-order a pair of their excellent ultra stretch skinnies in black because I haven't a pair that actually fit me at the moment. It's free delivery and returns at the moment, so happy days.

Ah, Doc Socks. I bought these from Amazon I think, as I baulked at paying p&p on the official DMs site. They have internal padding located at the foot's pressure points, thereby cushioning one's plates of meat against the harsh and unyielding leather of the boots.

She's got legs ...

... and she knows how to use them." Sang the hairy Texan rockers ZZ Top back in the 80s. I know how to use mine too and I'm choosing to cover them with leggings.

These are textured faux leather leggings which I bought from Matalan. They make a bit of a rasping sound when I rub my limbs together in the manner of a giant grasshopper.

The pair pictured above are biker style leggings and are also a Matalan product. They're really tactile and as such I keep rubbing my own legs like some kind of self-stimulating madwoman.

Doc Martens Cadence

Over the years I've built up a fair number of pairs of Doc Martens. I like to walk and find that they fit my lifestyle perfectly, plus I like a bit of a block heel, despite being nearly 6ft in them!

I bought these Cadences a few years ago, both in the tan and black colourways. I've also got duplicate pairs sitting in the loft which I bought half price in the DMs online sale. The heel height is roughly 2in, which is ideal. I must confess that I'm not a huge fan of the black pair as due to the specific leather they've used, Greenland, it's always seemed a bit scruffy. They look ok with black or grey skinny jeans/leggings/jeggings etc though.

 

The grips are pretty good too, as you can see. 

Doc Martens Brienna Ladies Wedge

I can never get enough boots and shoes, especially Doc Martens. I have umpteen pairs and still crave more. I bought this pair from eBay as the style has been discontinued on the website and I'd had my eye on them for ages. They're a wedge, which I love for their height and comfort.

They are very bouncy!  I'm like Zebedee.

Half A Pint Of Sweat ...

... is apparently excreted by human feet on a daily basis. How do I know this? Well, I've got the QVC Style Channel burbling around in the background, a bit like tropical fish, but without the hassle. It's the Clarks Shoes show, but it's rare to see them flogging size 9s on there.

Nike Air Blazers

You know me, I'm a sucker for trainers and I find that ASOS is a great place to buy them. This week ASOS ended their A List reward scheme and presented their customers with a £10 voucher to say thank you. So ... I bought these:

They are Nike Air Blazers Low Premium in Old Gold. I think that you'll agree that they're so cool.

Rimmel 60 Seconds Super Shine

The other day I performed a manipedi on myself; I prefer attending to my own beauty regieme, well apart from cutting my own locks and going to the eyebrow threading place sporadically.  Regular readers will know that silver is one of my most favourite colours and I have the nail polish to prove it, namely:

For those without a magnifying glass, it's Rimmel 60 Seconds Super Shine in shade #808 - Your Majesty. I often wonder if HM The Queen ever gathers all of her female relations around for a pamper session in Windsor Castle one Saturday night? I for one think that it would be nice if Kate, Meghan, Sophie and Camilla joined her for a few glasses of Gin and Dubonnets (although not Megs, obvs - she'd have a warm Ribena instead). I reckon that they'd all gossip about Fergie and try to persuade Her Maj to relax the rules about wearing open toed shoes during official functions (didn't Meghan look silly wearing ballet pumps on Bondai Beach recently?) Also, Lizzie, why aren't wedges acceptable either?

Bowser Socks

Now if you're a fan of retro gaming like me then you'll appreciate these Primark socks. These particular pair feature Mario's nemesis, the archvillain Bowser, who is some kind of spiny turtle. The other designs on the five pack are: Mario, Luigi, Yoshi and another character whose name eludes me ...

They're a tad synthetic and slippery on laminate, but hey ho. Here's hoping that they don't get too clammy today.